Rick Horne’s “Get Outta My Face, how to reach angry, unmotivated teens with biblical counsel” is a great resource for parents of teenagers, youth pastors, and youth leaders. He divides the book into three parts: what you must understand to connect with your teen, what you must do to help your teen, and how to make the changes stick.

He uses the wisdom of Proverbs and other Scriptures as a manual to reach teens. You will learn:

-How to talk effectively to an angry, disinterested, or unmotivated teen (who usually doesn’t want to talk to you).
-How to nurture this young person’s willingness to make better choices (when he or she often doesn’t think that other options make sense).
-How to restore a rich relationship (when both adult and teen may have given up hope that the relationship can get better).

Early in the book, he establishes eight biblical lenses for seeing an our angry teen clearly. All eight are important, but a few stuck out personally: “teens, just like parents and counselors, are sinners; understanding common grace…allows any sinner to make some wise choices; and teens can and must think about their choices in light of goals in consequences.”

He gives some counseling keys: “realize what the teen wants, what is motivating his decisions and choices; be aware of how you listen and speak to teens; and remove the log in your eye before you begin reaching the young person.”

The second part is the main premise of the book:
Listen Big – build a bridge to your teen
Clarify Narrow – expose the realities of your teen’s experience
Look Wide – discover your teen’s solutions
Plan Small – support the changes your teen wants

The examples are common family situations with school, homework and family interaction. It is crucial to build bridges to your teen. Horne says, “with those pylons in place, the bridge can be made strong enough to withstand the challenge you are going to present with future interaction.”

I thought “look wide” and “plan small” was very helpful. It is important to look wide by knowing where there was success prior to the hardship. He used the teen’s past experience of success as a guidepost to realize future success. Then plan small, a teen must have positive, specific, and reachable goals. These goals allow a teen to see success and failure. Parents/youth leaders are to encourage and follow up with the teen through the situations he faces.

Part three, Horne shares how to make things stick. Parents/youth leaders need to keep the conversation going. The final point is to point your teen to the cross. I appreciate his honest assessment of the LCLP process. He says, “this process often produces rapid results…but we must not become satisfied with the external changes our teen makes…otherwise you will be like a surgeon who made sure all the preparation for surgery is complete then sends the patient home” Horne gives warning through the biblical counsel of Solomon, the Psalmist, Jesus and Paul. A teen’s hope is not in himself, but in Christ and repentance is key.

This book is a must read for parents and youth leaders. In the appendix, there is a quick reference guide to the steps as well. I am thankful for the biblical wisdom revealed from Horne’s work. I look forward to implementing these principles in my youth ministry and parenting my children.