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Rick Horne’s “Get Outta My Face, how to reach angry, unmotivated teens with biblical counsel” is a great resource for parents of teenagers, youth pastors, and youth leaders. He divides the book into three parts: what you must understand to connect with your teen, what you must do to help your teen, and how to make the changes stick.
He uses the wisdom of Proverbs and other Scriptures as a manual to reach teens. You will learn:
-How to talk effectively to an angry, disinterested, or unmotivated teen (who usually doesn’t want to talk to you).
-How to nurture this young person’s willingness to make better choices (when he or she often doesn’t think that other options make sense).
-How to restore a rich relationship (when both adult and teen may have given up hope that the relationship can get better).
Early in the book, he establishes eight biblical lenses for seeing an our angry teen clearly. All eight are important, but a few stuck out personally: “teens, just like parents and counselors, are sinners; understanding common grace…allows any sinner to make some wise choices; and teens can and must think about their choices in light of goals in consequences.”
He gives some counseling keys: “realize what the teen wants, what is motivating his decisions and choices; be aware of how you listen and speak to teens; and remove the log in your eye before you begin reaching the young person.”
The second part is the main premise of the book:
Listen Big – build a bridge to your teen
Clarify Narrow – expose the realities of your teen’s experience
Look Wide – discover your teen’s solutions
Plan Small – support the changes your teen wants
The examples are common family situations with school, homework and family interaction. It is crucial to build bridges to your teen. Horne says, “with those pylons in place, the bridge can be made strong enough to withstand the challenge you are going to present with future interaction.”
I thought “look wide” and “plan small” was very helpful. It is important to look wide by knowing where there was success prior to the hardship. He used the teen’s past experience of success as a guidepost to realize future success. Then plan small, a teen must have positive, specific, and reachable goals. These goals allow a teen to see success and failure. Parents/youth leaders are to encourage and follow up with the teen through the situations he faces.
Part three, Horne shares how to make things stick. Parents/youth leaders need to keep the conversation going. The final point is to point your teen to the cross. I appreciate his honest assessment of the LCLP process. He says, “this process often produces rapid results…but we must not become satisfied with the external changes our teen makes…otherwise you will be like a surgeon who made sure all the preparation for surgery is complete then sends the patient home” Horne gives warning through the biblical counsel of Solomon, the Psalmist, Jesus and Paul. A teen’s hope is not in himself, but in Christ and repentance is key.
This book is a must read for parents and youth leaders. In the appendix, there is a quick reference guide to the steps as well. I am thankful for the biblical wisdom revealed from Horne’s work. I look forward to implementing these principles in my youth ministry and parenting my children.
A week from Thursday, I had ACL reconstruction surgery for the second time in the same knee. This is from the softball injury in June 2008. As I mentioned in my last knee update. I had to wait six months for my bone graft to heal so that I could get another reconstruction.
The time came to endure another knee surgery. I’m glad to report the surgery was successful. He put in my new cadaver tendon and dissolvable screws without complication using the same cuts as last time. It was wonderful to hear that I had no further damage to my knee. The ACL brace worked well even with all the golf I played from July to December.
A few days ago, I started walking with my brace but without crutches. My stitches will be removed on Monday and physical therapy will start this coming week.
Update – Stitches were taken out on Monday. He is going to delay my physical therapy six weeks because this is the second time. He does not want to push me too hard early on. Also, he wants to wait for my swelling to go down. The swelling is not anything out of the ordinary. He was very pleased with my movement and happy to see me walking around with my ACL brace.
I know what to expect. I understand nine months of rehab awaits. It is a process, you work through it day by day.
At this point, I believe my basketball and softball career are over after two ACL reconstructions in two years. I am looking forward to playing golf, swinging short irons and chipping in six months.
Overall, I feel great. The first few days, there was some throbbing. Last week, there was itching when the stitches were ready to come out. I rejoice because I have not felt any pain. Even, the receptionist asked, what surgery I had because she said, I looked like nothing happened. I am thankful for God’s healing and His grace.
I am grateful and appreciate your prayers and support.
February 4 begins the UDY semester. We will meet at a new time this semester, we will begin at 6:45pm to 8:15pm. We are going to study, Teach Me Your Way, the Children Desiring God curriculum. Hope to see you there.
The Mexico missions trip is scheduled for Friday, July 17th to Friday, July 24th. Application and $50 deposit is due on February 1. If you want more information, please contact me.
Martyn Lloyd Jones, pastor of Westminster Chapel shares his exposition of Isaiah 40. Isaiah 40:31 is a popular verse among most Christians for the great comfort it provides. Isaiah 40 gives several God-glorifying and God-honoring statements: the Messiah foreshadowed (verse 3), the shepherd’s heart of God (verse 11), God’s holiness, and the creation account (verses 20-26).
I enjoy how he breaks down verses. He continually relates the text as a whole to redemptive history and personalizes the text with some great application. Near the end of the book, he gives some apologetic methods to prove the existence of God. Also, he shares how the text applies to the modern culture of his day. He brought some great answers to those struggling with unbelief in his day (1940’s). We face similar challenges today.
A quote to share, “What is our reaction to the gospel of God? It is quite plain that we have all sinned and that every one of us merits punishment and death and hell. We have seen that God has proclaimed it and says that a thing that is true…But God, in his love, has provided a way of salvation only in His begotten Son and through his death upon the cross, and this very minute he offers free pardon and forgiveness to anyone who believes in him. He gives reconciliation, new life and an everlasting and blessed hope. These are God’s promises and will never change. In addition, God gives renewing strength and power the power of the almighty God, who never wearies or faints – so that we may be enabled to mount with wings as eagles, and overcome every difficulty and problem we may encounter….The key is repentance” (Lloyd Jones 145).
Martyn Lloyd Jones is a wonderful servant of God, we can learn a lot from his study. You will be grateful to read and meditate upon Isaiah 40.
The RTS fall semester has come to a close. The Christmas services and traveling has ended. As I look back on 2008, I learned a lot this year. I am thankful for God’s grace and sovereignty guiding me through another year.
I have put together my top 5 in three different categories. This was a very difficult decision because there were some wonderful books to select from this year.
Top 5 Puritan Paperbacks
1. Mortification of Sin by John Owen – This is a must for every Christian.
2. The Mystery of Providence by John Flavel – Thorough review of Providence.
3. The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson – Shares qualities every Christian should possess.
4. The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes – Medicine to the soul.
5. Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs/Christian Love by Hugh Binning – Contentment is found through Christ. Christian love is revealed in more than the title.
Honorable Mention – A lifting up for the downcast by William Bridge – If you are experiencing difficulty, this is a good recommendation.
Top 5 Seminary Books
1. Thomas Jefferson and the Wall of Separation between the Church and State by Daniel Dreisbach – This is a fantastic review about one of the most common American misconceptions.
2. Preaching the Whole Bible as Christian Scripture by Graeme Goldsworthy – A lovely introduction to Biblical theology. He teaches the reader how to preach Christ in the different genres of the Bible.
3. Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal by Richard Lovelace – He reviews revival’s from Biblical history to the present (1990’s), very informative.
4. From Paradise from the Promised Land by T.D. Alexander – Alexander gives a detailed overview of the Pentateuch.
5. Peacemaker by Ken Sande – This book provides a biblical approach to resolving conflict.
Honorable Mention – Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders and Becoming a Minister of Pastoral Care by Thomas C. Oden – These books are great additions for those interested in leadership within the church.
Top 5 Favorites
1. In Christ Alone by Sinclair Ferguson – The book devotional in nature is an overview of Christ’s purpose revealed in the OT and NT.
2. The Reformation How and Monk and Mallet changed the world by Stephen Nichols – He grips the reader with some amazing side stories and teaches history like a friend sitting across the dinner table.
3. Jonathan Edwards: A New Biography by Iain H. Murray – This is the best biography on Edwards.
4. The Sayings of the Savior on the Cross by AW Pink – He gives a thorough overview of Christ’s words on the cross. It is a must read for Passion week and any time during the year.
5. In My Place He stood Condemned by Mark Dever and J.I. Packer / The Truth of the Cross by RC Sproul – Both are fantastic books about the penal substitutionary atonement of Christ.
Honorable Mention – Man Overboard by Sinclair Ferguson – It is an overview of the book of Jonah with tremendous application.
Sermon on the Mount by Sinclair Ferguson – He shares a wonderfully detailed description and explanation of the Olivet Discourse.
Lectures to my Students by Charles Spurgeon – It is a must read for all those called into ministry.
I’m thankful for the many lessons all the books taught me this year. I look forward to reading and learning more in 2009.
